Fancy Things
by MaySoFarAway
Summary: A place to post my Darcy & Fandral one-shots and prompts. Post 'We Need To Stop Meeting Like This', the life and times of the comedic relief who started dating each other! Rating may go up.


(Don't ask me why the idea of Thor as a cat person amuses me. It just does. Two of the prompts I was given on Tumblr, microwave food and Robin Hood: Men In Tights :D)

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**A Night In**

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"Dude, don't stand so close, you'll fry your brain!" Darcy chuckles at the impeccable man in her kitchen, who's been having a staring contest with the window of her microwave door. Fandral looks up at her with a frown, cocking an eyebrow.

"...And yet, you heat our food in this device, that could fry my brain." He points out, as the popcorn starts popping. Darcy pauses as she pours their wine, tilting her head. All right, so her alien god boyfriend kind of had a point there.

"Well, I mean...Jane!" She calls into the living room, where her friend is putting in the movie. Thor's on the floor with Darcy's kittens, utterly enthralled as they crawl all over him, "You're the scientist. How much damage are microwaved foods doing to us?"

"Tons," Jane answers without pause, scrolling through the blue-ray menu of Robin Hood: Men In Tights with a smirk, "I live off the stuff though, so. I'll probably turn into a She-Hulk any day now."

Fandral gives Darcy a look, to which she rolls her eyes, "She's messing with you," Darcy grumbles, standing on her toes to wipe that smirk off of his face with her lips. Which leads to some pretty interesting other things, involving hands and tongues and then the microwave is beeping, loudly. Ahh, makeoutus interuptus. At least this time, it wasn't due to another alien invasion or mad scientist. Darcy grins, giving his tunic a tug, "Trust me, it'll be the second-most delicious thing to pass through those hot lips of yours."

"Oh ew," She hears Jane groan from the living room, and Fandral laughs, leaping over the breakfast bar in a single bound and startling the cats. Darcy empties two bags of popcorn into a bowl (she's watched a movie with Thor before. Add on his Asgardian bro, she'd be lucky if she and Jane got to eat a handful each), precariously balances the wine glasses and heads on in, via the door, like someone who isn't an alien.

Thor and Fandral are doubly amusing on Earth, in odd little ways. For instance, while Thor loves Midgardian clothes, as they remind him fondly of his brief stint as a mortal plus help him fit in with his new friends when not battling evil, Fandral can't stand the things. Even at his most toned down, he's still in her very modern apartment in a tunic and breeches-type-things, looking like Heath Ledger in A Knight's Tale. Not that Darcy's complaining. They just make quite the picture, the two of them. And where Thor has an almost child-like, giddy enthusiasm for unfamiliar human items and customs, Fandral is highly suspicious of most of them, until proven they won't harm him in some primitive (to him) way.

One day at work, Jane and Darcy may have concocted an entire sitcom in their heads about the two of them. They'd star as quirky, awkward roommates in Queens, maybe with Steve too. And Tony as the exasperated landlord.

"All right, wine, popcorn...men with small animals, check check and check," Darcy grins, setting down the food as Jane starts the movie. Thor plucks up the case, frowning, rather perplexed.

"And, this is different than the older theatrical I have watched at Tony's home?" He cocks a brow. Jane settles with him on the floor, resting her back against his chest.

"...Kind of. A parody, if you will."

"People take their Robin Hood very seriously," Darcy concurs, snuggling up to her very own Errol Flynn on the couch. "So this was wonderfully irreverent!"

About ten minutes in, though, and Fandral is squinting hard, even as Thor is laughing uproariously. "...Are you sure this is not historically accurate?" He asks, biting his lip, "Because many things are familiar to this world, including the humor..."

"Well, yeah, but the humor is out of it's time, and..." Darcy trails off, eying his profile, and then grins, "...Aw sweetie, he's just like you and you don't WANT this to be a parody, do you?" Fandral tried to hide his bristling, and failed miserably.

"...He's nothing like me! I mean...apart from being clever, dashing, and quite good-looking..."

"I love you," Darcy sighs, wrapping both arms around his waist. Jane grins.

"Yeah, this one felt the same way about Zoolander."

"I've no Earthly idea what you speak of, My Lady..."

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End file.
